The Art of Listening

In an ever evolving and fast paced society of 'me me me' and instant gratification, it seems we tend to not listen as much as we should. I've experienced it in personal relationships, where I've talked my heart out, and yet wasn't felt 'heard'. I wondered, did they listen to anything I said? You see people screaming at each other over issues in politics and wonder is anyone really listening and trying to objectively understand the other person's point of view? Sometimes in our own enthusiasm to share or let the other person know how we feel, in relation to what they are saying, we may miss something. With friends or family, they may not always want advice, rather they may just want someone to 'listen'.

This phenomenon isn't unique to personal relationships, it happens in business. I started to notice how many times either I was being cut off, or in fact I was doing the same. It seemed as though each person is rushing subconsciously to make their own point. I was particularly frustrated and decided that the first thing I was going to do from that day was to make a conscious decision to slow down. It all begins with you, right? I remain focused on what they are saying, not thinking about what point I want to make, until they have finished their thought. If appropriate I ask questions about whatever they said. This reinforces to me that I had 'heard' them, and in turn perhaps the person on the other end will do the same by slowing the pace of the conversation whenever possible. Being in the moment, and not already jumping ahead to the next point or thought has become something I try to remain keenly aware of.
One of the lessons I've learned in life is we can't change people, but we can change ourselves.

Social experts and therapists always tout communication, it seems as though we need to cultivate the art of listening as a major part of that process.

Reality TV: Get The Balance Right.

After watching the BET Awards a couple of months ago, I watched a preview of the Tiny and Toya Reality Show. I'm sure the ladies involved have good intentions, but with so few women of color presented in a positive light, I must say was disappointed, this is without even had any expectations whatsoever.

It seems that either black women are portrayed as angry, uneducated or the dreaded unmarried 'baby mama's' unable to hold a job but having child after child. The media even initially tried to marginalize our First Lady Michelle Obama in this category by referring to her as Obama's 'baby mama' - when in fact she is his wife. I got the the not so subtle reference and put down. Michelle Obama does not fit the stereotype, and it makes some people nervous. Remember the New Yorker Magazine cover - the afro wearing, gun toting, angry black woman?

Perhaps, because in my own journey I have encountered people wanting to peg me in one way or another, I am keenly aware of how we are portrayed. I have been told "You're so well spoken'. I always quietly wonder, well what did you think? But I know what they mean. They have obviously bought into 'the stereotype' and think that we are all the same. We come in all shapes, hues, and backgrounds, to say the least. There is no one size fits all black woman. While I'm on it, we don't all use the term 'girlfriend' either. One quick way to the sound of crickets is to use the term to me, as if in a way to make 'me' feel comfortable. I have to laugh.

Early in my solo career, I was getting scripts, as singers were transitioning across the platform into film and television more often. I thought I'd be good at it until an audition let me know this field wouldn't be for me. The casting director told me to do that thing with your neck.. "You know, that thing black women do". I was stunned and knew I either needed a new agent or the process of getting roles would not be for me. Rather than pay for acting classes, I took business and computer classes instead.

Fast forward to those who admonish me with regard to Shalamar 'Oh, she needs to get over it, she needs to let it go'. As if I am mad at someone. I am neither angry or mad. It's other people who should get over it, but of course I know why I am the target. I am the woman and the subtext is that we bring drama. It's simply not who I am.

I can envision my own show, but it would not involve buffoonery of any type. Such a concept would probably be viewed as a hard sell. And I don't put my hand on my hips and twirl my neck, to make a point - thank you very much.

BET & VH-1 are both owned by Viacom and my question is where is the balance? TV-One is owned by a black woman, with an amazing story in business, I would ask the same question. All I see are missed opportunities and like millions of other people I rarely watch TV. With that said, I am looking forward to Heidi Klum's Project Runway. Thankfully, she has not turned into a cartoon of her former self.

Where are the other shows with articulate professional women in reality TV? Where are the women who are looking for love but don't resemble the women portrayed on VH-1?

'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' is another example and once again after viewing one episode, I couldn't help but wonder - why don't we have more rounded views of ourselves on TV at least. The film business is a different beast, I'm talking TV here.
I know 'reality' TV is all about what sells - which in this case would be cat fighting and drama. It's a stereotype of women - we just can't seem to get along. I suppose it wouldn't irk so much if I was able to see women I related to. With the other 'Real Housewives..' shows, you get the same type of thing. The difference is there are so many other options of images of other women be it reality or standard programming, it doesn't sting so bad. With women of color however, it just plain hurts.


I wonder where are the shows which convey a different view. Where are the successful women entrepreneurs working with other women who are not fighting and tearing each other down? Surely, there's a way to be entertaining and create layers without reinforcing stereotypes. I like to keep up with 'Pop Culture' to see what people are buzzing about, and many times just come away shaking my head.

I'm just saying..

This week I was reminded of two trailblazing women in the modeling industry. Beverly Johnson, the first black model to appear on the cover of VOGUE and Naomi Sims - who was able to launch her career despite being told she didn't have the 'look'.
Both women became successful as entrepreneurs long after they graced the fashion pages .. these are women who inspired me.

Times have changed, but it seems there are some things which should never be outdated: intelligence, poise and quality come to mind.

Jody Watley Continues To Make a Name For Herself

From The Philadelphia Tribune.

Written by Bobbi Booker
Thursday, 23 July 2009 20:19

When Jody Watley first encountered the bright glare of the public spotlight, she was a 14-year-old dancer showcasing her skills on the 1970s music hit television show, “Soul Train.” Soon, Watley’s dynamic talent would help her land as the “it” girl of Shalamar.

Watley remained with Shalamar for seven years as the group sold 25 million albums worldwide, but ultimately she would seek her own success and in 1984, she left the group to expand her personal artistic talents.

Her debut solo album “Jody Watley” garnered her a Grammy Award for Best New Artist in 1987 with the No. 1 hit, “Looking for a New Love” which popularized the phrase “Hasta La Vista Ba-by.”

Today, Watley remains the most successful of the classic trio and continues to release tunes that top the U.K. Dance Charts. Currently, she is working on her 10th album “Chameleon” and will eventually release her long-labored over autobiography.

“There’s still a lot to be said,” said Watley. “I mean, I’ve been working on my memoirs for the last five years and it’s taken so long because sometimes I just don’t want to write about or revisit certain things, whether it’s from my childhood or things in my relationships or career.

“But if you’re going to be honest, and not just put your business and your life out there, but to be old enough to have some perspective and to be able to say what you’ve learned every step of the way. I continue to learn so much about me and life and being in the business and being a woman.”

Watley has led the way as an entrepreneur working in the independent music world as one of the few already-established female best-selling artists to produce, create and own her recordings as CEO of Avitone Recordings formed in 1995.

As a style diva, Watley has consistently broken new ground in fashion, such as her feature in the historic 2008 “Black Issue” edition of Italian VOGUE. Vanity Fair once proclaimed that Watley’s knack for reinvention “has always complimented her music.”

In the late ’80s and into the ’90s, Watley was featured in fashion magazines such as “Harper’s Bazaar” in multi-page layouts. Watley also appeared in one of the first celebrity ads for GAP in their notable “Individuals” campaign.

Watley’s popularity in Japan would lead her to being the first woman of color featured on the cover of a high fashion magazine in Japan, as the face for the launch of “SPUR.”

Though identified in pop culture for her early signature extra jumbo hoop earrings, Watley evolved her style and the international fashion world took notice. Some would note that Watley paved the way for acceptance and cross marketing in music and fashion for the next generation of artists such as Beyoncé, Rihanna and Jennifer Lopez.

Watley’s recent appearance on the TV One documentary “Unsung” has reignited fans hopes of a Shalamar reunion. Watley, 50, says she has moved on in life and absolutely dismisses the likelihood of such a get together.

“It was very emotionally draining for me to go there,” she says of the broadcast. “I don’t live in that place. I’m not passionate about Shalamar. I mean, when I quit, I quit. If I hear one of the songs on the radio, I’m like ‘Wow, that’s cool. I’m on that record.’ But, it’s not my passion, so when people like the music it’s OK, but they don’t really know what the experience was. It was difficult for me.”

Always an outspoken advocate, Watley has also continued to work with various charitable organizations promoting tolerance, HIV and AIDS awareness, famine relief and self-esteem for girls and women.

In recent years, she has continued to broaden her music evolution and growth as an artist working successfully in the jazz influenced ambience of electronic soul.

“Again, I try to surround myself with people who uplift me and respect me,” explained Watley. “I’m blessed to be able to choose my co-workers and I would like to keep it that way. Life is short and we can’t live trying to revisit or re-anything. So, yeah, I’m just keeping it moving.”

Jody Watley performs on Tuesday at 7:30 p.m. at World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut Street, Philadelphia, Pa.www.worldcafelive.com or call (215) 222-1400.

Michael Jackson: I Remember The Time

I remember seeing you and hearing you for the first time.
I remember cutting out photo's and posters taping them to my wall.
I remember moving to Los Angeles, and talking about you so much that my parents tired
of hearing me speak of you - so much so that I had to give you another name for a while.
I remember scraping up pennies to buy SOUL Magazine, and later Right On! because you were always in them.
I remember living in a cheap motel during this time, as our family had fallen on hard times, but vividly remember the inspiration I got from reading about you and looking at those pictures.

I remember looking at photo's of your family and wondering what it was like to be a Jackson.
I remember feeling proud as I looked at your family, somehow seeing myself in you and knowing my friends felt the same.
I remember how we talked about you at school, and danced to your songs in the school gym.
I remember taping your photo to my locker and in the hollow of my desk just to keep you near.
I remember every time I would lift that desk top, I'd see your face smiling back at me.
I remember dancing, singing and dreaming to your music.
I remember crying to songs like 'Maybe Tomorrow', and 'I Don't Know Why I Love You' in my room.
I remember the cartoon, the TV specials, singing with Diana Ross and Cher..and so much more.

I remember writing the first piece of fan mail I wrote: 'Dear Michael'.
I remember writing to you often - as if you could hear me.
I remember thinking I was going to grow up and be Mrs. Michael Jackson.

I remember not having enough money for a concert ticket for a Jackson Five concert at The Forum in Inglewood CA.
I remember what it felt like for my family to be going through such a tough time, and how your music and that of other's got me through.

I remember walking the perimeter of the Forum with my Mom in tears, as I could hear the music and screams of the lucky girls inside - as I was panic stricken and pacing from the outside.
I remember begging to get in to no avail to each door attendant,
I remember being desperate enough to lie and say I'd lost my ticket.
I remember my heart that night, I loved Michael Jackson.
I remember how hard my Mom tried to get me close.
I remember sobbing even more and the joy I felt when one of the door attendants finally let my Mom and I go in, as the intro of the last song of the night -'The Love You Save' reverberated nearly drowned out by the volumes of screams from all the kids who felt just like me.

I remember as soon as we got in - the fans rushing the stage and all I had was a brief glimpse, as it seemed the entire arena shifted to the stage.
I remember how soon it was all over. Lights on. Empty stage.

I remember how I continued to love all of the other albums that weren't as popular like 'Skywriter', and 'Moving Violation' as you and your brothers continued to grow up - as I was growing up too.
I remember how I could get completely lost staring at every album cover that had your face on it as a child.

I remember meeting you for the first time, and being in awe of the fate that would make such a thing happen.
I remember you and your younger sister Janet coming to watch Shalamar shows from the side of the stage with Groucho Marx glasses with the fake nose and moustache at Disneyland - peering from the side curtain.
I remember your brothers trying to hook us up, because I put '"Jody Watley Loves Michael Jackson" on the back of Shalamar's 'Three For Love' album, underneath my photo with the caption: "Loves.."
I remember the first time I heard 'Off The Wall', and how much I loved it and still do.
I remember...

I remember being in the audience with my friend Jermaine Stewart at the Motown 25th..
I remember feeling the electricity that night, and your words "I like the old songs..but I like the new ones better" before you went into Billie Jean.
I remember how you changed the game of music.
I remember how you changed music video.
I remember where I was when I first saw the mini movie 'Thriller'.
I remember how everyone anticipated your world premiere videos on MTV.
I remember all of your iconic performances on The Grammy's and American Music Awards, and so much more.
I remember being nominated in categories with you and knowing I didn't stand a chance.

I remember that you are the first person who greeted me after I won my own Grammy Award for Best New Artist in 1988 and smile to this day because as joyous and in shock as I was...

I remember that you emerged from the darkness of back stage at Radio City Music Hall ran to me, gave me a big hug, kissed my right cheek and said in your Michael Jackson voice "I'm so happy for you"
I remember thinking how I would have never imagined that moment with someone who had such a huge impact on my life.
I remember thinking you were magical and..

I remember thinking 'I was just kissed by MICHAEL JACKSON and how it nearly eclipsed even winning the award.


I remember how obsessed my daughter and her friends were when they were old enough to discover your music, and how many times we tried to do the choreography to Thriller, and Beat It.
I remember our family trip to Disneyland so we could see your Captain EO attraction.
I remember the joy.

I remember that the never to be seen again international success of Thriller seemed to give you so much - but the aftermath of such fame seemed to take even more.

I remember feeling angst at your trials, and saddened by the bubble your unparalled success seemed to create.

I remember thinking how lonely your life must be, and how you tried to fill the voids in ways we can't understand.

I remember that despite your struggles thinking you are one bad ass dude. The greatest of a generation and for all time.

I remember how you have touched the world.

I remember how much I love your music, watching you dance, and listening to your distinctive voice.

I remember the influence of Jackie Wilson, Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly and James Brown in your work.

I remember the influence of Michael Jackson in others.

I remember these things and so much more..

I remember the shock I felt at hearing the tragic news, and the tears that followed.

I remember thinking a piece of my own childhood went with you.

I will always remember the time I had with you.

May your deepest sadness be healed. May your soul now rest peace.

The Performance Rights Act - Part Two. Fact Sheet.

Something to think about:

From : www.futureofmusic.org

Consider this. When you hear John Coltrane's recording of 'My Favorite Things' on the radio in the US, the estates of Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein - the composers of 'My Favorite Things' - are compensated through ASCAP. But the estate of John Coltrane receives nothing for this performance.
However, if you hear the same performance on XM or Sirius, or via a webcast, or on a cable music station - even on that terrestrial radio station's webcast - both Rodgers and Hammerstein's estates AND John Coltrane's estate are compensated.
Why the difference? US terrestrial broadcasters are exempt from paying a public performance right for sound recordings.

Royalties for Songwriters and Composers in US
Royalties are generated when a copyrighted song is performed publicly - whether on a radio station, at a sports event, or on a jukebox. In the US, these royalties are collected by ASCAP, BMI and SESAC and distributed to the member songwriters and publishers. As an indication of the significance of this revenue stream, ASCAP reported distributing over $680 million to its members in 2006..

No Royalties to Performers for Terrestrial Radio Play
Although royalties are distributed to songwriters and publishers for public performances for terrestrial radio play, this right does not extend to the performers or the sound recording copyright owner (usually the record label). So, when you hear Patsy Cline singing "Crazy" on the radio, songwriter Willie Nelson and his publisher are compensated through BMI, but the estate of Patsy Cline receives no pay for the performance. Neither do the studio musicians, backing vocalists, or the record label.
This arrangement is the result of a long-standing argument made by terrestrial broadcasters that performers and labels benefit from the free promotion received through radio play. Broadcasters contend that airplay increases album sales, which leads to compensation for performers and record labels. As a result, broadcasters have, for decades, convinced Congress that they should be exempt from paying the public performance royalty for sound recordings. But the broadcasters' argument is steadily losing relevance, and their exempt status becomes more questionable when compared to other countries' broad requirements for performance royalties.

Exemption in US Leaves Artists' Money on the Table
The US is one of the few industrialized countries - if not the only one - that does not have a terrestrial broadcast performance right for sound recordings. At least 75 nations, including most European Union member states, do have a performance right. This means that foreign broadcasters flow royalties to songwriters/composers and performers. But since there is no reciprocal right in the US, foreign performance rights societies cannot distribute these royalties to American performers. This leaves tens of millions of dollars of royalties on the table annually rather than in the pockets of American artists.


Digital Performances Mean Broader Compensation
Terrestrial radio's unfair exemption is even more obvious when viewed alongside new media platforms. Broadcasters of digital performances - webcasters, satellite radio, cable subscriber channels - obtain licenses from ASCAP, BMI and SESAC which compensate the songwriters and publishers of the music they play. But because of the Digital Performance in Sound Recording Act of 1995 (DPRA), they also pay royalties to the performers. SoundExchange - the performance rights organization established by the DPRA - distributes the royalty payments directly to performers (45%) and to the sound recording copyright owner, which is usually the record label (50%). Non-featured performers receive 5% of the royalties, via a royalty pool managed by AFM and AFTRA. This means that terrestrial radio is the only medium that broadcasts music but does not compensate artists or labels for the performance.

Time for Harmonization
There are two clear reasons why it's important for artists and advocates to support the expansion of the public performance royalty. First, as the consumption of music moves further away from the purchase of CDs and towards "listens" via digital streaming, satellite radio and webcasting, the likelihood of performers being compensated based on traditional/retail sales continues to decline, while revenue from performances continues to increase. Second, the US exemption penalizes US stakeholders in the international arena and results in losses of as much as $100 million annually for US musicians and labels. This also hurts the US economy and limits our ability to exploit one of our few industries that has a positive balance of trade. As the music marketplace goes global, the need for a broad-based performance royalty is more important than ever.



Legislative Action in 110th Congress
Recording artist groups including FMC, AFTRA, AFM, Recording Artists' Coalition and the Recording Academy have continuously advocated for the public performance royalty for sound recordings. In 2007, the campaign ramped up considerably with the creation of the MusicFIRST Coalition, as well as repeated congressional attention on digital music services, webcasting rates, radio, media ownership and copyright. In December 2007, Rep. Berman and Sen. Leahy introduced HR 4789/S 2500, the Performance Rights Act, which would remove the performance royalty exemption for terrestrial broadcasters.
FMC urges Congress to update the Copyright Act to extend the public performance right for sound recordings to terrestrial and HD radio. Unless Congress acts, incumbent broadcasters will continue to exploit their exempt status that sets them apart from other media providers

The Performance Rights Act Part One.

I can't say that the current state of terrestrial commercial radio leaves me with any level of enthusiasm. I often hear: "Girl I miss hearing your music? We miss good music. I stopped listening to radio", and so on. Of course there are countless artists who have been forced off the mainstream radar. It's a steep mountain.

It's not that the music variety is gone or that certain artists (especially those of us over 30 or 40's even) aren't making good music. We're here, it's radio which has abandoned us - quality music, balance and diversity in programming.

We've all seen the decline year by year. Hip-Hop and gangsta rap dominated and while delighting millions, also alienated millions - never to return. These days, it's common to hear the complaints of the 'adult' listener, who have been abandoned by the system. Apparently, they think the 'adult' listener should be relegated to either oldies or 'smooth' jazz. We can't handle anything progressive, diverse or appreciate quality lyrics judging by what's in heavy rotation.

Business reports constantly signal sagging ratings. People are continuing to tune out. We have options and iPods. We have the internet, online streaming, satellite radio, and so on. You can go directly to artist websites and social networks to hear music now.

With the deregulation of radio in the late 80's courtesy of the Reagan Administration, the downturn has been slow and steady. Privately owned stations were bought by corporations, who could now own unlimited stations and control the content. The Clear Channel Era was born. Local flavor began to disappear, as fast as the Mom and Pop family stations were bought out. In recent years syndicated radio has continued the dilution of local flavor. Advertising became the name of the game - generating millions of dollars. Pay For Play, legal payola, shrinking playlists, etc. Remember this when you ask an artist why their music is no longer on the radio, it's not up to us. If you are an independent the window shrinks a bit more.
Conglomorates like Clear Channel also own billboard, concert venues, etc. What we now have are a monopoly of radio, TV and "news" run by a few giant entities.

I can remember how special it was to travel from coast to coast, north and south - and hear something new and unique to the region. There was a time when there were truly black owned stations. Systems were manual, not automated. Disc jockeys could play what they wanted, even if that meant album cuts, double plays or as was the case when I first heard Stevie Wonders 'Songs In The Key of Life' - the entire album. I can remember being transfixed by the music I heard and couldn't wait to run and buy it.
The days when music represented value, and the though of trying to get something so special for 'free' didn't exist. I can remember when news was news and not gossip or entertainment being promoted as such.

Syndicated radio continues to put people out of work in local cities, just flip a nationwide switch and then voila - radio for the masses. There was a time when artists, if if they weren't in rotation on any given station, at least had a shot to go in to your local privately owned radio station to get some interview airtime to promote your music, concert, or charity event. Now they want to know how many ad dollars will you be generating to the station.
Local disc jockeys don't stand a chance. This syndicated practice would seem less healthy for the future growth of radio, but that's another subject.

Currently, the controversial Performance Rights Act is making it's rounds through Congress. The timing couldn't be worse for terrestrial radio and artists to a degree. Businesses are grasping at straws, and fighting the changing times. Old rules just can't apply now. Major corporations are closing down, filing for bankruptcy or tring to restructure franticly - because they waited too long to adapt to shifting paradigms.

This bill isn't about putting stations out of business, it's not a black issue, it's not a greed issue. The bill impacts all artists from popular, R&B, jazz artists, classical and so on. In Europe they have been paying artists for years through sources like PRS (Perfoming Rights Society).

Radio = advertising revenue. On air personalities promoting themselves and their events, books, causes, websites, replace music more and more it seems. As it is radio is becoming less a vehicle for promotion for the vast majority of artists using the old model.

New media has caused a call to action for revision and further compensation for those who work in the film industry, which has seen a similar fight. We aren't talking about the mega superstars here - we are talking the majority of people who are simply working in the arts to make a living, because it is their passion.


Some say if this bill is passed it will be the end of terrestrial/commercial radio as we know it. Is that good or bad? It hasn't been the radio I know in over a decade. Has it to you?

From my point of view fear based tactics always seem extreme. When a similar bill passed for web radio, it was said that it would force small online broadcasters off the air - it didn't happen. Some are saying that if this bill passes there will be more talk radio, less music because radio will just choose to stop playing music because of the cost. It even costs to get a pillow on an airline now - times change.

What is clear is that as the music and radio industry plods along, everyone will have to make new adjustments and settle for smaller pieces of a once rather large pie.

Jody Watley "Candlelight"

From Billboard Magazine: Online Chart Beat May. 28, 2009
Jody Watley extends her span of charting on Hot Dance Club Play to 22 years, three months and two weeks, as "Candlelight" debuts at No. 46. Her maiden entry, "Looking for a New Love," became her first of seven No. 1s on the tally in April 1987 ...

As of today June 5, 2009
"Candlelight" moves to #34 on the Hot Dance Club Play Chart, up from #39. Issue Date June 20, 2009

I wrote the song with Aris Kokouselis from Greece. It seemed like it would be nice to have a song about romance - with a sensuous and soulful groove circulating in the universe.

The journey continues...